charity:water

Aloha!

I just wanted to take a moment to tell you why I support charity:water. I heard about them a year ago when my friend Sarah had asked that in lieu of gifts for her daughter, Audrey's, 2nd birthday, to please donate to this organization. I went to their website, read about their organization and donated on behalf of Audrey. I then followed them on twitter and facebook and discovered an amazing story of some incredible people, who are doing wonderful things to raise money to provide safe access to clean drinking water.

I have done a few things to promote their cause including donating money, re-tweeting their tweets on twitter and re-posting their status updates on facebook. I have also told everyone I know about them. Well that didn't seem like a lot and it really isn't hard to copy and paste. charity:water has made me rethink how I use water in my life. They also helped me to realize that I can do so much more in my life to help others, however seemingly small. So I decided I wanted to do more.

In July began a small campaign at my new house in Hawaii to collect old bottles, cans and other recyclables with deposits that are left around my community and turning it in for cash, in turn pledging that amount to charity:water. I've stopped buying bottled water and now donate the amount I would have spent on it to charity:water. Every day when I wash dishes, clean my clothes, take a shower, brush my teeth, and do anything else involving the use of water - makes me think about how fortunate I am to have safe clean water available to me any time I want it. I have taken it for granted my whole life, just like most Americans. Every bit counts!

I am so grateful and appreciative to be able to live on this beautiful island, in the middle of the Pacific, with all the amenities of any place in the mainland of the US. I am committed to reducing the waste in my life and when I see waste elsewhere I am going to do what I can to make a difference. And the best part is that I can turn that into cash for my charity, charity:water.

Please visit charity:water on their website to learn how you can make a difference. You can follow them on facebook here and on twitter here.

By the way, Audrey will be turning 3 on September 5th and I am will be making a donation on her behalf again - will you join me? Audrey's Birthday Page.

Mahalo!

Has it Really Been Three Months?

Seriously? Oh my, how time flies when one has to move across the country with a kid, grandkid, two dogs, two trucks and God only knows the EXACT weight of our household goods. It's been quite a summer since my last post moving from hot and humid Kentucky to not quite as hot and not quite as humid Hawaii.

I actually ran another 5K shortly after we arrived; the 4th of July Run/Walk on Schofield Barracks, Hawaii. It was hot and the hill was gradual but long. It took me a little longer to finish than the one in May - 49:07. A couple of things affected me besides the heat one of which was that while I was pushing Brian in the stroller, I did not have Rachel with me. She was up ahead running with her dad. I really do think there is something to having a running partner.
We moved into our house at the beginning of July and we have a small gym just a block away. I was pretty consistant in going until the furniture arrived as well as my son, Jimmy on leave at the end of July. I am still mired in the chaos of an unorganized house and still have a bit of unpacking to do.

My eating hasn't been terrible but I know I could do a lot better than I have been. I seem to give into my emotions a lot easier than before, not sure if it's the early stages of menpopause or if I have finally been officially overwhelmed by the circumstances in my life. I have been eating healthier and reduced the snacking; and there was a week where I was weighing in at 228.5 but now I am back to 230lbs. I have my days when I feel resigned to being a large woman and it can depress the shit out of me. I know the things I need to do for myself but find that I give it up too easily for everything else I need to do within my family.

It's almost like I am afraid to change. Which is so ridiculous given that I haven't always been a fat woman and there didn't seem to be a lot of fear in changing from a thin one to my current form. I actually hate that I am fat - I mean I REALLY hate it. I know, I want to focus on being able to run but I find that difficult because it fricking hurts like hell sometimes to do so. So I am always confronted by my weight - no matter how much I try to not be.

A couple of things have happened since May that have really struck a nerve for me. One was reconnecting with an Army friend I hadn't seen since shortly after the birth of my son. She found me on facebook and a few weeks later flew to KY to see me as we were packing out - talk abotu timing...anyhow, she looked exactly the same! I mean she looked EXACTLY the same!!! Blew me away!!! I thought, how come the 21 years hadn't changed her physically the way it has seemingly PUNISHED the crap outta me?!! Of course she looked a little older, but in a GREAT way. It was so wonderful to see her and hug her and realize how much I had missed her.

After she left, I felt such a tremendous sense of failure. How did I let this happen to me?? Where is the person she used to know? I know she was just as happy to see me and I know that even though she noticed how much I had physically changed that she still loves me and has missed me the same. But it's like getting a kick in the gut (is that why they call it a gut check?) and it hurt.

The second thing to occur was my realization that as I have been reconnecting with other people from my past they still look the same! I mean, yes everyone has aged, but they are no worse for wear. They are still of normal weight and they all look great. It has made me start to think about why I have put on all this weight. I am not talking about 20, 30 or even 40 pounds. I am talking over 100lbs at my heaviest (242 in January). That is a hell of a lot of weight! It is the amount of weight that a lot of folks have gained who get gastric bypass. It's the equivelant of another person!

One other thing that happened last night. I spent the evening dancing with our neighbors and my daughter and grandson. Now when I say dance, I am talking DANCE! We shook our booties to the ground! And while I thoroughly enjoyed myself, as I was watching others boogie (showing my age) down I realized once again how ABNORMAL it is for me to be fat. It's not that they are skinny, it's that they are NORMAL weight! Which means they can move easier than I can and they can do th moves that I only do in my head.

So I think I need to revise my strategy. I need to work on my eating habits AND work on my lifestyle habits. I need to find that confidence that I once had. I need to know in my head and my heart that I can do this. I also need to get a trainer! Someone who I can give permission to crack the proverbial whip! I can't do this by myself anymore.