So a recap is in order. Well I lost 62 pounds in 6 months, walked the Great Aloha Run last February. I ran the Army 10 miler last June. I had shoulder surgery 2 weeks later, followed by 5 months of Physical Therapy. I ran the Honolulu Marathon last December, very slowly, but I did finish! I ran the Ford Island Bridge Run this January as well as the Navy Seebee 10K with my husband, Actually he finished about 30 mins ahead of me and waited with a water cup at the finish line for me. I ran the Great Aloha Run this past February with a friend and knocked off an hour off my previous time. And I gained 42 pounds back.
During all of this, my son came home for R&R from Iraq, I flew to the mainland to see my daughter and grandson, the holidays set in upon return and I got complacent. Then I got lazy, then discouraged and ended up almost in the same boat as I was in last year. I even got a little depressed and I just remember having the same thoughts of "I will always be fat so what's the point?"
But a couple of things happened as well that were like lifelines for me. Several of my friends were thanking me for inspiring them to change their lives! WHAT???? ME????? I don't feel very inspiring, but so many shared their experiences of weight loss and healthy lifestyle changes and how they started because of what I had been doing. WOW! I felt honored and ashamed all at the same time. While they were doing all the right things to better health I was putting on the pounds and all but stopped running.
So I decided to revisit some of the things I did last year to help me lose the 62 pounds. I had become a vegetarian so I recommitted myself to eating strictly vegetarian again. I had slipped these past 7-8 months with eating the occasional chicken and turkey, then it was hamburger and steak...next thing I knew I was in the McDs drive thru ordering a Big Mac. The thing is, I know it doesn't taste good, I know it's a terrible waste of calories, very little nutritional value but I did it anyway. I also had stopped measuring and weighing my food. I stopped logging it, I actually tried not to think about it and the more I tried, the more I DID think about it. A non-stop orgy of thoughts some days.
So last month I moved my work area upstairs OUT of the kitchen, I stopped buying fast food and meat and for the past 4 days have been on a juice and strict vegetarian diet, no meat, no dairy, no bread (for now) although I did have a roll and a piece of cake Sunday at the luncheon. But social eating is still such a complex situation...I digress. I am in day 2 of a total juice fast that I plan on lasting 3 days on, a day off to eat vegetables and fruits, then back on a 3 day juice fast.
Why juice? Well last Thursday evening, I watched a documentary called Fat, Sick, and Almost Dead. I started it in my sewing room while I was working and ended up watching, mesmerized! It's Joe Cross' story of how at 310 pounds and suffering from hives and rashes (Uticaria) for 9 years, he decided that enough was enough! He was taking prednisone everyday and still dealing with skin condition and feeling like crap. By the way, in December, the morning after the Marathon, I awoke to not only sore muscles, swollen knees, blisters and black toenails (all common after effects of 26.2 miles) I also awoke to a swollen face with hives starting from my hairline down my neck and up behind and in my ears. I looked like a freak! Not the way one anticipates celebrating the day after a marathon. I went to the doctor who said I might be allergic to the sunscreen I used...blah blah blah....after many more doctor's visits and topical steroids and many Internet and book searches later, I have no concrete answer to what ails me. I just know that since I have been obese I have allergies and eczema now this...well so after watching this movie and discovering how Joe got his health back I have decided to follow a similar path.
Joe is an Australian who lives both in Australia and the United States. He decided to fast on fruit and vegetable juice for 60 days under the care of his physician and he traveled to America to film a documentary about how we eat here. He talked with so many people about what and how they ate, no surprises to discover that fast food, brown food is an ingrained staple of our western diet. And he talked with other obese people about their issues with weight and food and again, no surprises...they knew that they needed to change their eating and lifestyle habits, even knew a lot of what they needed to do, but didn't. I saw myself in those people...having the knowledge and experience and still not doing what I needed to do. Again, not surprising. It's easy to find other things to do to put my health last, to not go for a run, to grab a packaged item that does nothing to satiate my hunger and leaves me feeling like crap. No wonder I have been dealing with some depression, the sugar roller coaster! Again, I digress....
...well as Joe traveled across the country fasting and talking with people, he met a man named Phil at a truck stop in Arizona. Phil was a truck driver who weighed 429 pounds! My first thought was, he weighs 200 pounds more than me and that almost was a convincing argument that I was still manageable....HA! Well Joe and Phil talked about what Phil ate on the road, how he felt physically and Phil revealed that he had the same skin condition as Joe. And they talked about that. Then Joe shared with Phil what he had been doing to take back his life and health and Phil seemed mildly impressed but at the same time he seemed like he might have thought Joe to be a nutcase! So after a few more minutes, Joe and Phil parted ways and the story continued about Joe and his juice fast and his progress and his eventual return to Australia. He had lost 92 lbs on his fast! He began his next phase of eating a vegetarian diet and exercise to get into shape and be healthy. He looked like a completely different man! He looked 10 years younger and he looked happy! Not too surprising...I mean, restrict calories in and expend calories and you will lose weight....right?
Then Joe got a call from Phil 2 months after their brief meeting and Phil reminded Joe that he had offered to help him when he was ready and Phil was calling to say he was ready for Joe's help. A little surprising...but what really got me was that Joe got on a plane back to the US and helped Phil get started. He took him to the doctor's where Phil got a full battery of tests and exams and then he bought him a juicer and truck load of vegetables and fruits and took him to a lakeside cottage and helped Phil get started. He stayed with him the first few nights to help Phil learn how to make his juice and walk with him a step at a time and then he left Phil on his own...and flew back to Australia. Phil stayed out there intending to do a 10 day fast and we get to see Phil go through the struggle of drastically changing not only his eating habits but his thinking habits....Phil was severely depressed....then Phil decided he was going for it! Long story short, Phil lost over 200 lbs! IN EIGHT MONTHS! And he changed his life! He no longer works as a truck driver, he works in a health fitness club and he shares his experiences with everyone he meets, including his brother, who had a heart attack while Phil was on his journey!
Funny thing is, after seeing this and being not only inspired but DRIVEN to action, I have read many supportive comments about the film and yet, some not so nice things about overweight people. There is a very mean spirit out there about obesity. I don't blame anyone but myself for my weight and health. Sure genetics probably play a role in the way my body works, but I alone control what I put in my mouth and how much I move. With that said, I don't believe I have ever wanted to be fat! I don't believe I set about a path of self-destruction on purpose. Sure, many factors played a role, fast food convenience, a stressful job, single parenting, a sick parent, hormones, the list goes on endlessly...it's called life. And while I feel over all that I cope well with life, I probably have used food to numb out just like someone getting drunk over a breakup or whatever else we do to deny the current situation...but the goal isn't about making excuses or defending how I got this way...the goal is to help those out there who do struggle with food, whether they are overweight or underweight....and to be an example of one who is still in it!
I still refuse to have surgery, although I have thought about way more these past few months than ever before...I refuse to take diet pills and powders and eat "diet" foods, all of which are processed. And then I thought, not if Phil can do this, I can - but I've done this before....I have lost 62 pounds in 6 months before...the marathon is 20 weeks away, I weighed 230 on Saturday...I can do it again! So that's what I am doing....
1 comment:
Damn, woman! I hope you are counting me as one of those people whom you inspire! I stepped on a digital scale just before leaving AZ and the number SHOCKED me! 10 pounds more than what I weighed at 9 months pregnant. I've NEVER been this fat before and I'm disgusted with myself. I am on a homemade cabbage soup diet and I love it - although I transgress WAY too often and have only begun tiny steps toward exercise. YOU INSPIRE ME!!
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